How to clear the limiting beliefs that are killing your dreams
What is the one limiting thought that is preventing you from just going for your dreams?
Right now there is something inside of you that you have always wanted to do. I want you to ask yourself, “what is that nagging thought that has been whispering to me?” What is that thing that you have always wanted to do? Is it something as simple as taking up a hobby? Starting an art or dance class? Improving your tennis? Joining a gym? Or is it a bigger goal like running a marathon? Writing a book? Changing your career? Visiting a country you have always dreamed of going to?
Ok now you have thought about your desire, what thoughts have popped up in your head when thinking about these dreams? Do they sound something like this? ”I don’t have the time”, “I’m too old”, “I can’t afford it”, “What will other people think”, “I’m not fit enough” “I can’t” “Yes but….”
These are what are known as limiting beliefs. As Henry Ford famously said, “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, either way you’re right” Isn’t that food for thought!
Several years ago, Bronnie Ware (at the time a palliative care nurse) wrote a blog post titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, this blog was an internet sensation and quickly went viral. The top regret of all was, I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Ware elaborates on this “This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
Don’t let this be you, when we stifle a part of ourselves that is desperate to be set free, we are dampening our spirit, this leads to a suppression of emotions, emotions such as regret, disappointment and sadness, unknowingly these can lead to irritation, bitterness and anger.
I absolutely love hearing about people’s dreams and aspirations. I believe we were all born with gifts and talents unique to us. I believe we should be doing things that we love and I believe that there are many of us who could make money out of doing the thing they love. I passionately believe that we absolutely can go for our goals. Yes I know it is easier said than done (or is this just another limiting belief?), however once we identify the limiting beliefs that are stopping us, we can work on clearing these beliefs.
My favourite way to clear these beliefs is with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or Tapping). Usually the underlying belief/emotion of all is fear.
This is totally understandable, “What if I fail”, “What if I’m not good enough” , “What if I look like an idiot and others laugh at me?” These are all different shades of fear.
Today I encourage all of you to do is to have a think about something you have always wanted to do and ask yourself what is stopping you? Here are my top tips for making your dreams come true:
1. Identify the one thing that it is you want to do, identify the intensity of this desire from 1-10, if its below five, the desire probably isn’t strong enough, so pick something else –we are looking for a 7-10/10 desire. 10/10 is a burning desire.
2. Note the limiting beliefs that are preventing you from doing this, how high is the intensity of this belief out of 10? If is this is low then take action today (see steps below) If it is high, start today to clear these beliefs with the tapping script below.
3. Once you have identified your goal, put a time on this goal, three, six months or a year away etc
4. Grab a journal and write a “future” journal entry starting like this “It is (for example) December 31st 2015 and I am so excited to write that I have finally fulfilled my goal of ……..” Fill in the rest – write with passion and imagination. Put real feelings into this entry, give it detail, colour and plenty of emotion. Really get your juices going. Write in the present tense – AS IF IT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED
5. Take action – what can you do today to move in the direction of your goal? Can you find out about an evening class, or is there a book you could read, a group you can join, a telephone call you can make?
6. Find yourself an accountability partner who you have to report back to. When we are accountable to someone else, we are more likely to take action. Consider hiring a coach to keep you on track.
So if the intensity of the limiting belief is too high from even allowing you to take the first step towards your goals, here is a sample tapping script to get you started. If you are new to tapping, please watch my Introduction to tapping video first here.
Karate chop point KC: Even though fear is preventing me from achieving my goal, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
KC again – Even though I’m afraid I will fail/ look stupid/ I’m not good enough , I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway
KC again – Even though I don’t know even where to start, I choose to believe that I can take just one step towards my goals today, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Eyebrow (EB) – All these limiting beliefs that are getting in the way of my dreams
Side of Eye (SE) – I don’t think I can do it
Under Eye (UE) – I don’t think I have what it takes
Under Nose (UN) – I just don’t have the time/ I’m too old/ I’m too afraid (use words appropriate to you)
Chin (Ch) – All this fear that is getting in the way
Collar Bone (CB) – I just don’t think I can do it
Top of Head (TH) – I don’t think it’s even worth trying
(Do this for a couple of rounds)
EB – I’m letting go of this limiting belief that I can’t do it (can’t afford it/ I’m too old etc)
SE – Releasing this belief now
UE – I choose to have new beliefs for myself
UN – I believe that I can and I will
Ch – It just takes that first brave step
CB – Once I make the decision, opportunities will come my way
TH – I am worthy and deserving of going for my goals
EB – I can do this
SE – I choose to have courage
UE – Letting go of my fear of failure
UN – Letting go of my fear of what others may think
Ch – Letting go of all my limiting beliefs both conscious and unconscious
CB – I choose to believe in myself
TH – I am excited about what the future has in store for me.
Do this round of tapping a few times and see what comes up, hopefully you should be feeling like taking that first step now. So what’s the first thing you are you going to do? I would love to know.
Go live your dreams.